"Way too soon to feel so strong

Way too young to hurt so long."

- Last Dance by Dua Lipa 

We should never act like we know what others are going through. 

We shouldn't judge.

 We all struggle. 

Life isn't a perfect fairytale for anyone. 

Challenges and setbacks are and always will be part of it. 

Be respectful and, most importantly, be kind to one another. 

💙💙💙

"Rock bottom will teach you lessons that mountaintops never could."

Share Your Struggles

Not a single word has been easy to write. However, my mind takes me to a couple of months ago, when it was ME reading YOUR words. When I thought I was completely alone but you were brave enough to let me know that there's a lot of people that (unfortunately) are fighting this very same battle. By understanding exactly what I was going through, you showed me that I was everything but hopeless. You showed me that I've been very strong and that even though I feel exhausted, there’s still a lot of fight left in me. So now it's my time to be brave. I'm not going to let anxiety or insecurity or even this frailty take the best of me. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that tomorrow is going to be a better day. Not only for me but also for the ones who witnessed my decay and never left my side, no matter how messed up the situation got. 

One step at a time. 

Being patient. 

I know I’ll get there.

Share some of your struggles. You can make a difference. Even when you don't realize that’s what you're doing.

It feels like I was sound asleep and I only woke up when I hit the ground and felt so much pain that I couldn't even breathe properly.

The Power Of Anxiety

Something wasn't right. I was changing. I was turning into someone so different but I was so overwhelmed by the way I was feeling that I couldn't even see. The only thing I knew was that something wasn’t right. 

For so long I tried to focus on responsibilities (some of them not even being mine) and I didn't give much importance to the way I was feeling. I thought I would get over it. I heard a lot of "Oh, you're fine" and, my personal favorite, "That's just in your head". With no follow-up. What’s that supposed to mean? That when there's something happening in your head you can just snap your fingers and you're good? That’s not how it works. Doctors (general practitioners) would tell me that I was fine. Nothing was wrong with me. I knew that couldn't be true. I felt lost. I felt hopeless. Eventually, I believed that they were right and I was wrong. I tried to move on. There was nothing left to do. I was supposedly fine. 

The symptoms wouldn't disappear. I tried to cope the best way I could. Tried to have a normal life. Didn't work. Ignoring the problem never does. 

It took me a long while to truly accept that I was desperate for help. That I couldn't live that way anymore. Took me even longer to ask for it. 

I've always wanted to be helpful. I used to think that I could help everyone. I grew up doing the best I could to take care of my mom until it wasn't only the two of us anymore. I gave a lot of myself (still do) to make sure my grandparents have everything they could possibly need and feel the best way possible considering what they’re going through. Having them here, I had to deal with situations that scared me like never before. Witness circumstances that never fail to hurt me. Back to helping mom. She’s my favorite person in the world and I could never allow her to carry all this responsibility and its consequences by herself. It wasn't easy to admit to myself that this time it was me who needed help. I was ashamed but most of all I thought I was being weak. I wasn't right about that either. 

I can see now that there's nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you need help. There's nothing wrong with getting it. I know it is not easy to ignore all the noise surrounding you but, at the end of the day, you need to realize that the power is within you. You decide. Even if some people don't agree or don't understand, you can still choose the way you believe to be the right path for you. So I did. It was the best decision I could ever make for myself. I don't feel alone anymore. 'Cause truly I never was. You're not either. 

It's hard for me to remember a day when I wasn't struggling with what I now know to be an anxiety disorder. It consumed me and took over every aspect of my life. Not anymore. 

If you're going through something similar, I hope you learn from my experience. Be brave and get the help you deserve. I'm not going to tell you that you are fine. We both know that's not true. However, I can tell you that you won't feel that way forever. You have to work hard and be patient but you'll learn. You'll grow. You will slowly start to heal. It will all fall into place. Better days will come. For both of us. 

Gratitude

This year I spent a lot of time in the dark. Nevertheless, I'm incredibly thankful for all I've been through and all the valuable lessons I've learned. 

I'm thankful for the toxic relationships that finally came to an end. They showed me how important it is to put myself first, which is something I haven't been doing for too long. 

I'm thankful for the outstanding new places that I had the opportunity to visit, which will always have a special spot in my heart. They will always represent a significant step forward on a meaningful journey. 

I'm thankful for every single person in my life who didn't leave my side. You are the ones who've been loving me for who I am, even when I couldn't see who that was anymore. I know how lucky I am to be part of this family and I plan on cherishing you forevermore. 

I'm especially thankful to every person who has been brave enough to share their struggles with the world. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough for the difference you made in my life. You were the first ones to be there for me. You were the help I was too proud to ask for. It's very clear to me that by sharing your stories you were paving the way for progress on my own. There was a time when I thought that I was broken beyond repair but you knew that I could reach way beyond that. So you made sure the tools were out there, waiting for me to be ready to believe it too. 

What are you grateful for?

I Have Questions

"I'm way too young to be this hurt

I feel doomed

Staring straight up at the wall

Counting wounds and I am trying to numb them all."

- I Have Questions by Camila Cabello

Save Yourself

If you don't fight, no amount of meds or therapy will ever be enough to save you. They just help you find the tools you need to be able to save yourself. 

#BeBrave