I'm losing my mind

Although I was having a shitty time in my life, sometimes there were this days when I woke up and felt different. I didn't feel so sad, deep down I actually felt some kind of hope. Hope that that day was going do be better, and maybe even wonderful and full of joy.
But right now that kind of days aren't happening anymore. It seems like everyday that goes by I feel even worse. And honestly, I'm afraid. I'm afraid I won't get that felling of hope anytime soon. I'm afraid I'll drown in my own sadness. I'm starting to live in this closed world where everything is so fucked up and I try so hard to run from that, not to fall in a dark hole but it is getting more difficult each day.
In these last days I've been feeling so tired and hopeless. Everything is crappy, nothing makes me feel any better. The only people that could help me, don't. They are too busy to notice. Or to even care. But it's alright. Eventually I will be fine. As always. I know I am strong. I've already been through a lot. But I'm getting tired of trying so hard.


 I don't feel sadness anymore. I feel numb.