Oldie but Goodie

Today I was feeling a little bit nostalgic and started browsing through some old photos. When I came across this one, I realized it's still one of my favorite pictures of myself. I remember the day I took it. I always thought of photographs (nowadays this would be considered a selfie) as a way to cherish memories forever. Keeping that in mind, I used to carry my digital camera around (yes, not my smartphone) and simply took pictures. I didn't care if I was using makeup or if I was wearing the right outfit. I didn't care about posing a certain way or choosing the right angle. 

Currently, we have Instagram. One's timeline can be seen as a reflection of their life. However, sometimes it feels like none of it represents the truth. People take photos keeping in mind what others will think of them and what they think is acceptable. 

When I took this photo I was just being myself (even though I still struggle to find out exactly who that is). I was having a wonderful day and I was feeling comfortable in my own skin. That's it. And that's why it still is one of my favorites. 

We Can Do Better

"I know it hurt bad, your mom left your dad 

When you were a little girl

You think I'm gonna leave 'cause history repeats 

We've seen it around the world

Oh, all that we're told is this will get old 

We'll cheat and we'll both get hurt

Against all the odds we'll pray to the gods

That this love works 

When all we see is bad blood and mistakes

All we hear are sad songs 'bout heartbreaks

And no matter how long it takes

We're not gonna give up 

We can do better 

(...)

Things can get rough, we might drink too much

And say things we shouldn't say

Forgive and forget 'fore we go to bed

And we're gonna be okay

Some people pretend it's not gonna end 

And end up then walk away

But that isn't me, I'm not gonna leave

I'm here to stay

When all we see is bad blood and mistakes

All we hear are sad songs 'bout heartbreaks

And no matter how long it takes

We're not gonna give up 

We can do better."

- We Can Do Better by Matt Simons 

My Apology

I'm deeply sorry 

I'm sorry for the opportunities I lost because I was too afraid to take a step forward.

For living too much inside my own head, stuck with my endless thoughts. 

For letting my anxiety get the best of me. 

For letting negative past experiences take the wheel in my life.

For letting myself be paralyzed by fear.  

I'm sorry to the people I didn't get to connect with because I never gave them a chance to.

To the ones I truly cared about but lost anyway, only having my own self to blame.

I'm sorry for any pain that I may have caused you

and for the negativity I brought into your life.

For the discomfort and the awkwardness. 

For not fighting for you. 

I really am sorry